At 25, the word I’d least describe me as is insecure – or so I thought.
Wasn’t this reserved for a younger version of myself so easily swayed by short-lived emotions? This was, inevitably, a crucial season of self-discovery intermingled with fear. It was a period of self-loathing after another heartbreak, cringing at my reflection while doing a fitting, and distancing myself from “toxic” peers – a life worthy of a Simon Pulse YA novel. Wasn’t this something we were supposed to overcome at some point? Yet, as I have these difficult conversations with myself for the occasional heart check – you should, too! – there are other ways my insecurity manifested itself as. It’s way beyond just the physical.
Reading So Long, Insecurity: You’ve Been A Bad Friend to Us by Beth Moore, a P130 surprise find from Book Sale, is life-changing. When we skillfully bury our insecurities and don’t place them on the feet of Jesus Christ, we deceive ourselves, and we deceive God. Triggers – like meeting a partner’s ex, getting another rejection letter, and seeing one more relationship status change on Facebook – will reveal the worst of us. But fret not, dear one. You have power vested in you by the Creator – who fashioned you with unwavering security – to change your perspective and ultimately, your response.
“We, of all people on the earth, possess the reason, the residence, and the ongoing revelation to be, of all things, most secure.”
Etch this in your heart. Proverbs 31:25 says, “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” You have a treasure within you that no man, no rejection, no betrayal, no circumstance can take away. Nobody can and should ever make you feel like less of a woman. Stop handing people power only God should wield over us.
- Stop depersonalizing people.
There is insecurity rooted in competition.
When we feel threatened by anyone (ladies, hands up!), human as we are, we judge their character and discredit their hard work. Have you felt even the slightest tinge of jealousy for another person’s progress? Do you find it difficult to genuinely be happy for somebody else’s good news? This is all too familiar for me, and I wish it weren’t.
I’ve learned to try my hardest to see people as equally broken as me. We are wounded but sustained by His love. We are all going through the highs and lows of life. We have all, at some point, questioned our purpose. We are all striving for the same things, and this allows me to extend grace – no matter what I feel. To champion this fellowship, most especially for other women, helps me see the same dignity I have that others are given as well.
“Where on earth did we come up with the idea that we have to subtract value from ourselves in order to give credit to someone else? When I humble myself enough to pray for someone I feel threatened by – and especially when I muster up the courage to ask God to profoundly bless the person – I end up blessed every single time, and the rivalry gets diffused.”
- Don’t bite off more than you can chew.
There is insecurity rooted in information.
Have you ever wanted anybody to divulge information to feed your curiosity, maybe even your ego? Do you find yourself going that extra mile – lurking through social media platforms, opening e-mails or text messages – just to “silence” your inner demons? You strived and succeeded, but I bet you regretted it.
Like Eve and her pursuit for knowledge in the Garden of Eden – way beyond what she was capable of handling – we must learn how to be content with what God wisely chooses to reveal to us. Stop asking for answers you aren’t ready to receive. But when He does give it, and it will hurt, He will equip us with grace to deal with it.
“God had already told her what she needed to know and what her heart and mind could tolerate without self-destruction. But she insisted on knowing something she was wholly incapable of handling. There is knowing. And there is knowing too much. What is God showing me? Or what am I demanding to be shown?”
I leave you with this, woman of God. Start seeing yourself through His eyes. It is this simple: when you find your worth in Christ, nobody else can take it away from you.
“Jesus has been the purest, most consistent romance of my life, and despite the inevitable aches and shocks of living for five decades, somehow with Him my youth is inexplicably renewed. In the light of His presence, I am so glad to be a woman and feel oddly adept at it even in a world gone mad.
That, beloved, is our challenge. To let the healthy, utterly whole, and completely secure part of us increasingly overtake our earthen vessels until it drives our every emotion, reaction, and relationship. When we allow God’s truth to eclipse every false positive and let our eyes spring open to the treasure we have, there in His glorious reflection we’ll also see the treasure we are. And the beauty of the Lord our God will be upon us.”
[She] will have no fear of bad news; [her] heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. [Her] heart is secure, [she] will have no fear.