Portraits: Alyssa x Menina Step
If I published this entry weeks ago, it would probably have been a ‘pity party’ type of post – familiar to me and my readers. Since we’re being honest, I easily could have produced paragraph after paragraph stating how I can devote much time and energy to keep my craft alive yet not be assured that I am to love what I create. That still holds true but thank God I never found the fuel to continue writing then; I am certain my thoughts needed a redirection.
I will not always have the courage to love the things I create. I relentlessly magnify my shortcomings because I am human. That entails constantly wanting this supernatural version of myself I will never arrive at. But. if there’s one thing that holds true for all my days, it’s that I love what I do, and this reality will always trump any feeling of unworthiness that passes – and eventually loses its hold on me.
My dreams are more alive than ever; these are no longer just silent ideas in my head. I may be slow, I may have taken more time to make the commitment – of creating and living beyond fear – to continue where I left off but now, I am here. I say that again boldly, I am here, and nothing can stop me from following through. That is a declaration.
Photography: Elisa Aquino
Modeling and Styling: Alyssa Lapid
Make-up and Hair: Rachel Torres
Special thanks to: Menina Step