Please don’t give me love
Please don’t give me love when the kind of love I desire is something I want to possess out of fear – fear that nothing better will come, fear that it will end up just like the others I have received, and fear that I deserve to “settle.“ Please remind me that the kind of love I should have is love that is supposed to be desired, rightly, out of faith – faith in Your perfect timing, in Your faithfulness, in knowing that You know what is best for me, which I do not see.
Please don’t give me love when I am drowning in myself, my loneliness, and my selfishness, that I forget that You will always be the endless ocean who gives me the love I yearn for and the love I undeserve.
Please don’t give me love when all I desire is companionship and togetherness that I completely forget that there are others who already provide this kind of love, others who want to give me this love yet I put their love aside – blind of the love they can give my longing soul.
Please don’t give me love when I want to be told I am beautiful. There is so much beauty that You have placed in me – in every piece You have faultlessly designed that my eyes are unaware of – because You are the magnificent Artist.
Please don’t give me love when I yearn for attention, that I easily forget that though there are billions under Your care, You give me unceasing amount of it – as if I were the only one You have to look after.
Please don’t give me love when the love I have in mind is fleeting because it relies so much on what I feel. There are moments when I am so unhappy that I want it and realize that it is just a thought created by dullness.
Please don’t give me love when I am blind to my own self. That I need time to grow, time to learn, and time to love others and time to love You before loving him or else I would be preparing myself for estrangement.
And, please don’t give me love, when I need another person to be sure of You because I need to be sure of You alone. One day, I will be prepared for this love but until then, please don’t give me love.